Most nights Matilda goes to sleep in her own bed but by morning, every morning, she's in our bed. Sometimes she brings her "baby Ida" (doll) and her "big taggie" (blanket) and sometimes she comes alone. I prefer it when she brings her doll and blanket as it saves me the trip to get either/or if she decides she needs them later. The last couple of nights she's been in our bed from the start. Niclas was out of town on business for two bedtimes and the only way to get her to sleep and appease Linnea's baby witching hour is to lie down with both of them and nurse Linnea while Matilda settles down to sleep. Last night, while Niclas was home, Matilda demanded I put her down and Linnea, well. Linnea is working on some brain-growth and child is getting cranky. So off to bed with all three of us it was.
Our bed is a queen-size. Our bedroom cannot accommodate a king. There's a mesh-covered bed railing on my side of the bed to ensure that Matilda doesn't fall off. She's got her own pillow. Linnea has a wedge (which apparently at least one nurse deems unsafe, but I have to think that in this situation it's better than not using it). Niclas and I both have second pillows to put between our knees (good for the back, crucial for horizontal nursing). Four in a queen-sized bed is tight. Even though one of us is under 10 pounds, Matilda makes up for it. She sleeps all over the place. Like a pinwheel.
Most times I'm ok with this set-up. Most times I like it as the sight of my older child wrapped around the head of my younger child, children I pushed out of my own body, is better than an actual pile of puppies. The problem with this set-up is if Linnea wakes up at 4am, she wakes up Matilda. If I get up to change or burp Linnea, it's all over. Matilda wakes up and is ready to get up. So most times, if Linnea starts fussing at 4am, I make Niclas get up and tend to her. Most times, this keeps Matilda from waking up. Most times, this keeps my day from starting at 4:30. It's the days that start at 4:30 that make me question this set-up a little.
Before I became a parent, I had no idea how other parents dealt with their sleeping arrangements. I had no idea where kids slept, outside of some general awareness of cribs and toddler beds. I think that the sleeping arrangements of families with small children is the real parenthood secret. It's not the fact that some women poop on the table when they're pushing or how long the sleep deprivation really lasts (years) or how postpartum you go through a mini menopause and sweat for weeks. The real secret is where the kids sleep.
So where do your kids sleep?
Comments (6)
Now in the crib, occasionally on top of me, with me on top of the futon in his room, and sometimes in between us on the bed. If in the crib, he asks for specific stuffed nap friends by name and sometimes demands a pillow, which takes up half the crib.
For the first three months of his life, due in part to reflux, he would only sleep in our bed on top of me, on top of my husband, or in the bouncy seat, stuck between us on the bed.
Posted by susanna | March 9, 2007 1:59 PM
Posted on March 9, 2007 13:59
The bouncy seat in the bed is making me laugh. Also, those first three months, you two much have been hella rested, right?
Posted by atomic | March 9, 2007 2:03 PM
Posted on March 9, 2007 14:03
We've got Leo in his little bassinet thing by our bed, but he comes in with us if he's getting fussy and we're not ready to get up. AND we also use the wedge. We love the wedge. We use it to keep Leo wedged on his side because he likes that position. Maybe my tired brain was having a hard time processing why that nurse doesn't like 'em, but what was the problem? She thinks they might suffocate on it? Or they don't need it because they can't roll over anyway?
Posted by christarenee | March 9, 2007 2:38 PM
Posted on March 9, 2007 14:38
I'm a little fuzzy the problem it causes as well. But I like the wedge because, aside from keeping her in one place in our bed, both Linnea and Matilda seem(ed) to like it for the close factor. The newborns, they don't usually like the wide open spaces.
Posted by atomic | March 9, 2007 3:30 PM
Posted on March 9, 2007 15:30
Pile of puppies up in this beeotch. I put both girls to sleep at the same time and the grownups join them later. I can't fathom putting a tiny new baby to sleep far away from it's mother, but that's just the hippie in me. Plus I'm lazy and there's no way my groggy ass is going to leave the nice warm bed to nurse a baby who nurses all night. Thank you but no. So. Pile of puppies.
Posted by Jesamin | March 9, 2007 9:01 PM
Posted on March 9, 2007 21:01
We had a side-car cosleeper attached to our bed for Shmooie's first 3 months. At 3 months old, he started to be bothered by my husband's snoring, so we moved him (the kid!) to a crib in his own room. He's 2.3 now and is a month into sleeping in a toddler bed. He hasn't caught on that he can get out of the toddler bed by himself (which is fine with me)! We have a baby gate up in his doorway at night. He sleeps well (knocking on wood) and only once in a while needs one of us to come in if he has a bad dream. I'm assuming we'll do the same steps for the new kid, who arrives in early October.
Posted by juliloquy | March 12, 2007 12:14 PM
Posted on March 12, 2007 12:14