Atomic Tonic

Last night I got 4 hours of sleep. We leave for Sweden in 12 hours. Matilda still has a rash, her claws need to be trimmed and I keep wondering if 5 outfits for her on the plane are enough.

If she screams all the way there, is it rude of me to wear my Bose Noise Canceling Headphones? Will my cabin-mates stuff me into the bar caddy? Do I even care?

Everyone keeps telling me to ignore the time difference when we get there. "Just keep her on her normal schedule!" And I nod (out) but secretly I'm wondering. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?

Hello from Sverige! We're having a great time! Wish you were here!

Matilda is on Swedish time and napping like a champ. Currently napping in her pouch WHICH HAS SAVED ME ALREADY ABOUT EIGHT TIMES. Travel does a job on the nap times of the very young (but no longer very small) and this pouch, it keeps stepping in. Matilda gets dumped into it ass first and three minutes later she's out cold.

Leaves me with my hands free to order another ice cream.

She's been enjoying Swedish baby cereal and retro doorway jumpers and the Swedish relatives. As of this morning, she's peed on just about everyone but Sarah. Been to the beach four times now. Keeps sleeping through it.

But the pouch keeps her out of the sun, so sleeping on the beach isn't a bad idea.

This morning Matilda pooped in her diaper for the first time this week. It's not that traveling backs her up (that'd be my problem), it's that she's been pooping in the toilet. This morning she pooped in her diaper because the bathroom was occupied and I didn't think her Swedish grandmother really wanted her pooping on her rose bushes.

We're nowhere near having her out of diapers because we certainly miss a lot of peeing but the missing is our fault. We're lazy. But everytime we bother to get off our butts and put her on the toilet, she pees. EVERY. TIME. These babies, they are smart. They are quick learners. I can really recommend the Infant Potty Training.

Folks, if for nothing else than the poopy diaper I had to change this morning made me gag just a little.

ANYWAY. Check out the towheads.

Can you stand it? BECAUSE I CAN'T.

We're back.

The tomato plants are huge. The cat is delirious with neglect. The humidity is high. Can't type on American keyboard.

Diaper-free time this morning left us with a miss on the bed, one in the exersaucer and half a poop miss in the Bumbo chair. Maybe leaving a diaper off Matilda wasn't the smartest thing to do at 4:30AM with the jet-lag AND IT BEING 4:30 IN THE MORNING WHAT AM I AN IDIOT?

Don't answer that.

When I got pregnant with Linnea I decided I wasn't going to buy any maternity clothes. My due date with her was one week after my due date with Matilda was, two years previous. It was my last pregnancy. I figured I would use the same maternity clothes and hold off buying new clothes until the pregnancy was over and the weight was gone.

I didn't live up to it. Over the last year, I bought one maternity shirt ($6), two pairs of lounge/sleepwear when my stomach got so big even the largest of my maternity clothes rode up or fell down ($40), two pairs of knock-off Crocs when my feet got so uncomfortable the ugly started to look good ($20), and then a handful of non-maternity-but-hide-the-muffin-top shirts once the baby was out but the weight was certainly not ($50).

In the last year, I've spent just over $100 on clothing for myself. I've still got 20 pounds to lose. I'm nowhere near being able to buy clothing for myself. I'm grumpy and puffy and fat. Spring is around the corner. I need to spend. Spending is mental Spring Cleaning. I can't spend on myself because I can hardly look at my body in a mirror nevermind try pants on it.

So I spent on the kids. I bought some Baby Legs for both of them knowing that Matilda wouldn't let me put them on her and Linnea wouldn't have a choice.

So far, Matilda won't let me put them on her. Linnea doesn't have a choice.

I also bought a lighter weight pouch. Linnea is certainly putting in the hours in the fleece one and I don't see that changing anytime soon. This summer we go to Sweden. The first time we took Matilda to Sweden, she spent roughly 85% of her time in the pouch. Linnea will be the same age for her first trip to Sweden that Matilda was on her first trip.

The pouch is almost like buying new clothes for myself.

Look. I've got nothing to give. Linnea is nearly 6 months old. I'm sleeping more than I did with Matilda at this age but I'm still sort of burned out. Feel like I'm slipping into quicksand. Sick of typing with one hand. Can't seem to get on top of a reasonable weight-loss plan (the most insane idea, and the one that's actually working, is to drink olive oil). Still sucking wind with the running. Need a haircut. Just. Sort of. Meh about everything and also mildly paniced.

We went to Sweden a few weeks ago.

We go every year. Little did we know that the first year we took Matilda, when she was 5 months old, was going to be the easiest trip we'd ever take with kids. This year, with a two-year-old and a 5 month old, was the exact opposite of a good time. Door-to-door the trip is 15 hours. 6 hour time change and at least 4 extra hours of daylight a day. I'm not going to lie. It was not really. Um. Fun. Sure, Matilda got to swing in the best swing ever:

and Linnea got to eat her rivals:

but the trip as a whole sort of hurt my head and sent me into a tailspin of tired and drained for a week after.

So there was that. Now we're home and it's hot. Matilda starts repeating herself before she's even out of bed in the morning. She nurses her babies (asks if they're done or do they want the other side?), been making salads out of paper towels and eating the thai basil straight from the garden. She's been talking about potty training and wearing underpants but she won't use the potty. I'm trying to be patient but I'm really quite done changing diapers on two kids.

Linnea is well on her way to a balanced diet. She's had rice cereal and applesauce. Lemon sorbet and watermelon and sweet potatoes.

She talks all day and is *thisclose* to sitting unassisted.

These kids.